BREAKING NEWS: Three thirty year old white guys start satirical news press

THIS JUST IN: Three local Melbourne men, all nearing thirty years of age, have today began a new endeavour – a satirical news press that they are certain will take off.

“It’s not a mid-life crisis,” declared a member of the trio in question.

“I don’t just wanna sit at home and do fuck-all. That’s for sure,” stated another.

The trio consider themselves to be funny in their own circle of friends, so they’ve decided to take the collection of inside jokes they’ve amassed over the past decade and share them with the world. After six years of rocking up to their respective places of employ day in day out, and pretending to work, the trio are fed up and ready to try something new.

When asked whether they considered their generic idea to be original, they responded with this remark: “We’re nothing like the Betoota Advocate. Sure, we’re writing shitty satirical articles, but we’re all 6 foot 3. It’s totally different.”

We followed up by asking whether they think their world experience is wide enough to write so thoughtfully that they can reach a broad and diverse audience. “Well, we sometimes hang out with a bloke who is a quarter Chinese, so I think we have a unique perspective on life, and we can’t wait to share our wisdom with the world.”

“Also, I think he’s like 5 foot 8 as well, so he’s got his fair share of struggles,” added another.

With all the semi-young white guys making podcasts and writing articles, some would dare to suggest that the market that The Trinity Gazette is attempting to break into is saturated. But that hasn’t deterred the trio thus far, and I for one wish them every success.

Stay tuned for more.